Mental Health, Suicide

A really shit week – TRIGGER (suicide)

If you’ve read my previous posts you’ll know that mental illness is in my family.

For the last year or so my 13 year old has been self harming through cutting her arms. She has a diagnosis of ADHD.

On Friday, I found weed and tobacco in my 13 year olds bedroom.

Then on Sunday my ex rang to tell me he’d found a suicide note in her bedroom at his (we share care).

I knew she’d been having thoughts as a friend of hers raised it with me a few weeks ago but we had talked a lot and it seemed to be a bit better. I raised it with her school and a referral to CAMHS was made. The school have a CAMHS worker visit every 2 weeks and saw her but wasn’t sure if she would meet the threshold for acceptance into their service…

I don’t know how long ago her note was written but now I’ll be fighting for her to have more solid input.

I’m scared.

My house is a war zone.

I’ve just started back at work in my first qualified post after being off with bipolar depression. I’d started my first post before that but because I became ill am starting afresh in a redeployed post….
I’m lacking the support already that occupational health has suggested for my phased return. Had a horrendous (4th ever) shift on Monday… the day after finding out about the note. We need the money and stability.

Everywhere I turn is misery and I’m trying to be strong for my family and keep recovery going. Trying to figure priorities. What is best.

Currently I’m screaming inside, smiling outside, holding onto hope that all will be well.

Please 😦

2 thoughts on “A really shit week – TRIGGER (suicide)”

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