Mental Health, Self esteem

Doing the best you can, being ‘good enough’ and saying no…

You do the best you can….

That’s all you can ever do.

Sometimes we are met with criticism, and that can be really hard to deal with, but if you really know deep down that in the circumstances you are doing the best you can then that is ‘good enough’.

It has taken me a long time to realise this and sometimes I forget and beat myself up with the imaginary stick. I guess that’s part and parcel of fluctuating self esteem and confidence.

According to a stint of CAT I undertook during a particularly long depressive episode, which lasted about 3 years, I learnt that, growing up, I had learnt to ‘be good’. That meant i had set ridiculously high expectations of myself in order to avoid unspecified reprimands and rejection, which carried on playing out in my adult life. I burnt out. As a result I was, and still am to some extent, a people pleaser. Afraid to say the simple word – no. You don’t have to please everyone. Indeed, it is impossible to please everyone. Sounds simple really, but i know many of us fall into that trap.

All that happens is that some people get frustrated and you end up feeling resentful and running yourself into the ground. It’s OK to say no. In fact, it probably gains you more respect. Learning to set healthy boundaries, and put yourself first, is essential to establishing a foundation to good mental health.

So next time I am asked to do something that is too much than I can *really* take, I shall say “I’m sorry, but I can’t at the moment”. Well, easier said than done but I’ll try.

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