I’m a person. Well that went well. Type, backspace, type, backspace, repeat. I’m already rather muddled about what to write here, plunging right in with no plan. I guess then that could be a starting point for a person description. The one below. Which is often responsible for this diving business. OK.
I’m a female with a diagnosis of ADHD, primarily inattentive. It’s like sort of living in a weird daydream a lot, losing and forgetting stuff, getting distracted and ‘checking out’. I annoy myself on a daily basis. I’m crap at texting and ringing people back. Most of them laugh at me. Some express dismay. A couple have thrown their toys out of the pram. One blocked me on Facebook for it. I’m going off on a tangent now.
Bipolar. I have that diagnosis too. It makes for a great combination with ADHD. Well, not really. It’s challenging. I don’t like bipolar with the exception of being in an early stage happy hypomania but the buggers put a stop to that by giving me pills. They are right though. I agree with them as they’re pretty essential for most people. Depressions remain. Lucked out there. At least before there was a bit of fun. Well, apart from it actually turning out to be erratic stuff that I didn’t notice as erratic. It has landed me in all sorts of undesirable positions. Some funny on reflection. Mainly not. “At least you didn’t buy a zoo like another of my patients” said my psychiatrist. Woah.
I’m a mum. I manage that mostly well judging by the hugs I receive from my children. I love them, they say they love me and I’m the best mum. Bribery is amazing. They do try my patience a lot but that’s kids, especially when they appear to hate each other vehemently at times. I need alot of help when I’m ill and I hate them seeing me like that.
My family are a bit of a hotchpotch. I have a working class side and the other side have posh voices. That was a bit weird growing up. My accent unintentionally changes according to ‘the side’. Pronouncing my t’s and stuff. They’re all very kind though. I’m not into this class stuff. It’s bollocks.
Mental illness. Grew up with it, have it, others in my family have it and friends too. We have a collection going on. Schizoaffective disorder, anorexia nervosa, depression, dyspraxia, ADHD all over the shop, emotionally unstable personality disorder (detest that name) and generalised anxiety disorder. I’m sure I’m forgetting some. Oh and a fair amount of self medication. Trauma of course. Suicide attempts and completion quite frankly.
I’m a Mental Health Nurse.
Bet you didn’t expect that. Whaaaaaat? A nurse with Bipolar and ADHD? Yes. How the hell I managed that bitch of a course I don’t know. Lots of help from amazing people really who believed in me. Apparently I’m good at it and I really care. I mean I do really care, I don’t mean people think I do. It’s my passion for want of a better word. Just to reassure, I know when to take time out. Patient safety obviously is paramount.
Anyway I’m rambling.
This site is, I guess, my personal journey and learnings of mental illness. Stigma bashing, awareness raising. That sort of stuff.
Thrilling. Thank you for coming. Hopefully you might stay and we can share stuff and stuff.
I’d suggest a cup of tea now.